My Immortal Commentary
by GarnettFox
Summary: Hide yo wife! Hid Yo kids and hide Yo husbands! it's another My Immortal Commentary! warning! strong language, and possibliy of brain meltings and spontainus human combustion. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
1. Chapter 1

My Immortal Commentary

Oh dear god, when I read this I wanted to commit suicide, drown myself in mind bleach, renounce my love of HP fics and murder the child of Satan who wrote this. Then I saw all the parody commentary's of it and figuring it couldn't get any worse read them…I'm now hooked XD I want to thank every My Immortal Parody-er out there (and if you can point towards some reaaaally fun ones I wouldn't say no X3) and start my Commentary!

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) _(no I don't, I'm gothic and I don't use puns that bad or spell gothic as 'goffik' WTF?)_ 2 my gf (ew not in that way_)(Why not in that way? Got a thing against lesbians?)_ raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling_(Raven your a sadistic son of a bitch.)_ U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2_!(Why the love of your depressing life? Why not be normal! I'm a goth and my life is normal.)_ MCR ROX_!(ok then we didn't need to know but ok, I love Linkin Park if anyone's randomly wondering!)_

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way_(geez, want to give old Dumbles a run for longest name?)_ and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name_)(ohhhh kay…Your parents seers or something?)_ with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back _(I'll admit I'd love to dye my hair like that)_ and icy blue eyes like limpid tears(_I believe the poetic device your thinking of is 'limpid pools' or 'ponds') _and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee_(Oh come on I like her and your trying to ruin her!) _(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie_ (Incest much? Nothing against it but still_)I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white _(because most vampires have crooked yellow teeth -.-*_) I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England (_Scotland read the books_)where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen)(_I'm not three I could have figured that out for myself_). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) _(No! and here I thought you were a punk rocker!) _and I wear mostly black_(surprise, surprise_). I love Hot _Topic (if anyone reading this knows what this store is like can you tell me? Cos I'm guessing they don't sell what she wears)_and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink _(uhrk, hate pink, sorry to pink lovers out there but it just hurts my eyes_) fishnets and black combat boots(oh leave combat boots alone!) . I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation _(what happened to Vamps being pale as death?),_ black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining_.(did someone mess up a weather spell?)_ so there was no sun, which I was very happy about _(at lest your not a Twishite vamp then *shudder*_). A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. _(charming!)_

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! _(Oh leave him alone! I may not like him as a character but he's hot as all heck!)_

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. _(Shyly? Ok who's polyjuced themselves as Malfoy? Come on admit it!)_

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away_.(….that's it? Worst ending ever!)_

AN: IS it good_?(my god have mercy on your soul for this abomination you have unleashed upon us_) PLZ tell me fangz!


	2. Chapter 2

My Immortal Commentary

Hellllllo again my friends! I've got a couple of chaters of this done so I figured might as well post them up ASAP so you shoudl be gettign a update every day or so, so we should be done in just over a month or so. anyways Reviews!

Zoids Fanatic: we all want to head deck at this story, to be honest the main reason I'm doign this story is it's helping me with my writers block ^^; that and I ike making people happy and I really enjoy laughign at these kind of storys so I figured why not make one of my own? sorry if I've offended anyone.

F: Glad you like the commtary ^.^ my friends say I have a sharp tounge and a talent for sarcasum!

Midori Hotaru: Glad I made you Lol!

AN: Fangz _(Stop it with the stupid puns!)_ 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta _(Text Speak, L33t…..kill me now! The two things I can not stand in a story!_)! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok_!(it's not flaming when your story is worse than Troll dung!)_

The next day I woke up in my bedroom _(well if you fell asleep there it's safe to assume you'd wake up there!)._ It was snowing and raining again _(Someone call Storm to fix the weather._). I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had _(personally I drink some juice but to each to their own)._ My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink_(My eyes! They Buuuuuurn_)velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas_.(or you know you could use actual Pajama's just a thought)_ Instead, I put on a black leather dress_(must have taken a while to get into),_ a pentagram necklace, combat boots _(Again leave the defenceless boots alone!)_and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears_ (most sane people stop at one piercing per ear.)_ , and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) _(huh? Is she Willow or Raven?)_ woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink _(*twitch* call your self's goths?)_ streaks and opened her forest-green eyes_(Grin, flip hair THEN open the eyes? Amazing she hasn't poke her eyes out by now!)._ She put on_(oh here we go_) her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation(_that you have no need of_) and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly_.( OMFG? Do people really say that in real life, I've hear Oh my god! Or ohemgee! But never OMFG)_

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing _(…you are a vampire a member of the undead, undead means no heart beat, no heart beat means no blood pumping to your cheeks, mean no blushing for you!)_

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room_(you have disgraced the house of snakes)_ and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. _(someone's taking a trip down de-nile, and a loud one at that_)

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me_.(No, no Malfoy run away Save yourself!)_

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. _(flirting with the guy you supposedly don't like, that's gonna show Willow you don't like him!)_

"Guess what." he said_.(I'm going to murder you_)

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. _(muggle band in a wizard village, makes a world of sence(not) and why the heck would muggle hateing Malfoy WANT to go?)_

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR)_."(I feel sorry for those bands)_

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked. _(please murder her on the way or when you get there!)_

I gasped. _(I re-quote myself, Worst ending ever!)_


	3. Chapter 3

wingswordsandmetaphors: glad you think my storys so good! ^.^

Midori Hotaru: Pale pink I odn't mind to much of but neon and hot pink does acctually hurt my eyes ^^; and as for Malfoy (I just can't call him Draco for some reason) likeing a muggle band, there in lies the power of a mary sue. she can change the most vital parts of a charicter in what is commenly known as 'Cannon Rape'

AN: Stop flaming the story preps(Hun their sane people not preps), OK? Otherwise fangz (*twitch* worlds stupidest pun)to the goffik people for the good reviews(or to be politicly correct thanks to the lunatics for the good reviews!)! Fangz again raven! Oh yeah, BTW I don't own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte.(Fans of Good Charlotte ever where thank their lucky stars for that)

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. (oh come on! I'm gothic and my boyfriend's Emo and we don't wear this much black!)

Underneath them were ripped red fishnets(where you going fishing before the concert?). Then I put on a black leather mini-dress with all this corset stuff(it's called lace love) on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms(fingerless gloves you don't deserve them). I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky(anyone else feel that that's a oxymoron? Or maybe just a regular moron?). I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists(0.0 see a therapist! Only one of my emo friends ever cut his self and he stopped after he got help!). I read a depressing book(Twilshite) while I waited for it to stop bleeding(go to the fricking hospital wing!)and I listened to some GC.

I painted my nails black and put on TONS(any reason you had to capitalise that?) of black eyeliner.(oh here was go again)

Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. (you finally remembered Vamps are naturally pale?)

I drank some human blood( TMI), so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.(the only flying car in the Potter verse belongs to the Weaselys, and it ran away into the forest never to be seen until it saves the boys)

He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt(huh?) (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants(he's a skater boy not a goth!), black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot of kewl boys wear it ok!).(no they don't unless their cross dressing)

["Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.(someone explain the logic of exclaiming something in a depressed voice?)

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz(what no hurse?) (the license plate said 666(not a legal plate) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson(oh good lord). We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.(now you do drugs? Such a fine example for the kids!)

When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.(I'm all for feeling the beat but it's heavy metal that moshes)

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood

They're all so happy you've arrived

The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom

She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own the lyrics to that song). (Thank you for the disturbing lyrics that make me never want to listen to Good Charlotte!)

"Joel is so f*cking hot."(oh this isn't going to turn out well! It's like a rule you don't point out hot guys to your date!) I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.(in your opinion, for all you now to us he sounds akin to a moose giving birth to a full grown bull elephant!)

Suddenly Draco looked sad.(most boys would if their girlfriends point out hotter guys then them, either that or get angry.)

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.(god your slow)

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said. (that's totally convincing *eye roll*)

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.(gag me with a spoon)

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary f*cking Duff. I f*cking hate that little bitch.(the hell with the hate fest? I hate Ginny but you don't hear me calling her a bitch!)" I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.(what's wrong with being blonde? My best friend (whos also a goth) has blonde hair and she loves being unique!)

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer (Your 17 way to young without adult supervision!)and asked and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. (oh spare me the details)

Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into…the Forbidden Forest!(yesss, so he could feed you to Aragog!)


	4. Chapter 4

Midori Hotaru: I have nothing against boy's wearing it, it's just the only time any boys I know wear eye liner is when they deside to crossdress. those poor poor mer-people T.T . Hang on *checks* he is...oh god! this storys making me forget cannon Potter! Help me!

wingswordsandmetaphors: *sigh* we wish he would, they they could be free from her Mary Sue ways! I know it's now she even admits she hasen't read the books! personly I own all the books and abmitly I didn't see HBP or DH part 1, Half blood cos I forgot it was even in cinemas and it wasn't my favorte book ^^; and DH cos not that much happens and my friends are planning a huge HP party when they realise a box set (which you know their going to do!)

Word of warning! going on hoilday tomorrow so if the hotel doesn't have internet you'll not be getting updates till monday at the latest! if I haven't posted the next chapter by midnight english time tomorrow you can safely assume I have no internet and so don't have to check till midnight monday or tueday depending on when I get back.

AN: I said stop flaming ok! Ebony's name is ENOBY (How the heck do you pronounce that?) not Mary Sue(ok one minute her names Ebony, then it's Mary Sue now its Enoby? Is anyone able to keep track?) ok! Draco is so in love with her that he is acting different(yes love changes people but fundamental parts of their personality don't have plastic surgery!)! They knew each other before ok!(and no explanation into how they know each other?)

"Draco!" I shouted. "What the f*ck do you think you are doing?"(you use so many swears there a navy ship of blushing sailors out there!)

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it(He can walk on air?). I walked out of it too(and fell to my doom! No? awww man!), curiously.

"What the f*cking h*ll?" I asked angrily.(Bipolar much?.)

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

(I'm going to kill you and all you hold dear!...Still no? Dang .)

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes(if you have red eyes your albino not a goth) (he was wearing color contacts)(tacky) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.(a wha? That doesn't make any sense what so ever!)

And then… suddenly just as I Draco (stabbed me threw the heart…Oh come on!)kissed me passionately.(why is Just as I there? It makes more sense with just Suddenly Draco)

Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.(….What? a blind monkey could write a better sex scene than this!)

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasum. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm(You are undead! You can not get warm!). And then….

"WHAT THE H*LL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERF*CKERS!" (oh thank god someone sane!)

It was…Dumbledore! (the old Bumblebee?...some how I can't see him swearing….plus isn't he dead? Sixth year he dies…did she even TOUCH the books?)


	5. Chapter 5

RealTalkWithKikiAndKhalifa: sorry to dissapoint but I loled at your review XD I don't care what you say, I like this story and it's clear form the hits and the majority of the reviews I'm getting other people do. so shove that in your pipe and smoke it! XD

Midori Hotaru: I know! like I said it's practicly a rule you don't point out guys to yoru boyfriend! Lol I think it might be a case of Dumbledore coming back to try and save his school from the Mary Sueness. I think it s Grawp, an ddon't feed her to Norbert DX You might give the poor thing a stomach ache! *glomps Norbert*

wingswordsandmetaphors: Word of warnign I sometimes make stupid spelling errors and forget to bleep myself ^^; sorry in advance I only swear when I feel the situation needs it and even them half time I say Fudge or Shittakie Mushrooms (handy one if there are kids near by and you don't want them to hear you swear XD)

AN: Stop flaming! If you flame it means you're a prep or a poser(No it means that are legally SANE!)! The only reason Dumbledore swore is because he had a headache(if this is what he does with a head ache I'd hate to see a stomach ache) ok, and on top of that he was mad at them for having sex! (none of his bees wax if you where! 17 legally of age so he can't get angry at you for having sex!)

PS I'm not updating until I get five good reviews! (Like that'ell happen…wait it did…Dang! .)

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. (- that before the bracket should be a comer…)He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludicrous fools!" he shouted.(the fools bit sounds like Dumble's, but somehow not the Ludicrous part…)

I started to cry tears of blood(you should really go the hospital wing, vampire or that that is just plane not possible…) down my pallid face.(we get it! Your skin is as white as fresh fallen snow! Happy?)

Draco comforted me(he should have stabbed you). When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.(why where they in the same room and already angry?)

"They were having sexual intercourse(0.0 you know the proper name of it… it's a Miracle even if you have no clue of the parts you need to use!) in the Forbidden Forest!(I think he'd be more worried you would be eaten if he found students having sex in the forest)" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?(sounds more like something Snape would say)" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.(ohhh I see, Snap and McGonagall have switched personalities! Wait wha)?

And then Draco shrieked.(Hah it's a girl Polyjucied as him!) "Because I love her!"(sex don't always equal love)

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."(and the cruellest teacher lets them off the hook cos Malfoy says he loves her….I don't see it…)

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony(thought she was Enoby?)?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. (who wears a dress and high heels to bed?)

When I came out…

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom(third book I believe it's shown that theirs a charm on the star cases to the girls dorm, boys can't get in!), and he started to sing "I Just Wanna Live" by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered(because your boyfriend stalking you just to sing a creepy song is sooo romantic!), even though he wasn't supposed to be there.

We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room. (….that's it? I'm gonna end up saying this every time aren't I? Worst. Ending. EVER!)


	6. Chapter 6

Midori Hotaru: My fault Midori, college is being a arse and I forgot about this story for a while ^^; Yessss Belleatrix . THE B*TCH! DX I hate her for killing Sirius! Maybe someone has to keep a eye onhundreds of little spider babys! I have no clue to honest, Mc Gonagle and Snap are nothing alike.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! (I count a grand total of…five words spelt right in that sentence…does she know spell check exsists?)

The next day I woke up in my coffin(again if you fell sleep there, there's a good chance you'll wake up there!). I put on a black miniskirt (here we go again)that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.(spray paint? Are you a witch or what? Also why Paint? You'll never get it out!)

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal(which we brits don't have, moron). with blood instead of milk,(I think I'm going to be sick!) and a glass of red blood(not pink with purple poka dot blood?). Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top. (little did I know the blood was really acid that ate threw my chest and killed me slowly and painfully….still no? God Dam it!)

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic (because it's impossible for goths to be mad at each other, NOT!)boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that Iwas going down his face(you where on the poor guys face?) and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses(what's wrong with glasses!) anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses (still tacky)just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore(oh no, oh nononono! God, Allah, Buddua, Mata Nui who ever it is up there please don't let this be who I think it is!). He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent(your English, reduces the sexiness of the voice). He looked exactly like Joel Madden(they look nothing alike). He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. (so you got horny? *snort* aren't you a faithful girlfriend?)

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter(*to God, Allah, Mata Nuiand Budda*you guys suck), although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. (Harry does NOT giggle!)

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed. (and he couldn't tell from the face you where Drinking Human blood five seconds ago?)

"Really?" he whimpered.(Potter does NOT WHIMPER!)

"Yeah." I roared. (any reason you roared?)

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.(thus the dialogue was done for no reason -.-*)


	7. Chapter 7

Modori's to lazy to login(happens to us all XD): 0.0 You a Bioncle fan to! *glomp* Yay 8D I didn't think I'd find a fellow fan just by a small mention of Mata Nui! and you have a point MATA NUI WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US? Never used it but I'm planning on using lots of different colours for my costume XD I'm a alcamest/hooker needles to say my BF'd veeeery happy XD. and you have a point 0.0 You'd have though some one woudl have pointed out he looks like a creepy clown and forgot to shave! I liked the last book T.T and in Tara's own words she uses later 'I dntn red all da boox' some how I doudt she's ever read A book -.-*

Nanashi Tsurunaji: Glad you like the commentary, here have some Mind Bleach, might help with the burning pain.

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god (proof he doesn't love us, (no offence to Christians or believers in god meant))reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! (the heck's a Tin god von?) STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue,(she is Tara live with it! Also Evony? Can you please keep the spelling consistent for ONE chapter?) she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS(Ok know I'm taking offence! Good friend of mines a Satanist and he's nowhere NEAR this messed up!)! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!(random Z there, and she ain't depressed, at best she's Bipolar at worst certifiably insane!)

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings (A wha?)on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?)(yes, yes it does). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes(same difference). I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco(or depressed over the cannon rape that this story is). Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…(he murdered you restoring Cannon!)

We started frenching passively(Dang! And how do you do it passively?) and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically(one minute your passive, the next enthusiastic make your mind up!). He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra(that sounds just a a little awkward and painful if your wearing it for long periods of time). and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?) (very stupid, also the way you've worded it makes it sound like you also have a 'boy's thingy' as you so fluently put it!)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm(Waiter there's some cannon in my stupid!). It was a black heart (Never mind -.-*)with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words... Vampire! (that's one word, idiot)

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded(I don't know Malfoy anymore). But I knew too much(ya right, You. Know. Nothing.)

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" (so because he has a tat that means he has AIDs? aww geeze, my dad must have HIV if we go by her logic!)

I put on my clothes all huffily (Can anyone do this in real life?)and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what (no we don't know what). but I was too mad to care. I stomped(didn't you do this not two sentences ago?) out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.(reeeeeaaaally spacific isn't she?)

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. (so now he did it with your mom?, and seeing as this is SNAPE'S class, you are sooooooo dead! Please please chop her up into Potions ingrediants Snape!)


	8. Chapter 8

Midori Hotaru: My cosine is the one who converted me, when I was eight he brought his DVD of Legends of Metru Nui to a sleepover and I fell in love with Nuju XD thought now he's second place to Kopaka! *glops Kopaka* Ice Toa are awesome! thanks for readign PRN though I'm considering doign a rewrite of it cos I've writen myself into a corner plot wise, and a friends been helping me sort out a new story line that makes more sence. I don't now why Malfoy would do 'it' with Harry either, doesn't make sence I'm a Yaoi fan but Draco/Harry just doesn't make sence to me. (Snape: Trust me if I could it'd be a far worse posien that Living Death)

wingswordsandmetaphors: XD I've allways said it did know there where people out there that don't say it!

slytherinprincess9109: Commentarys make this horror more liveable.

Note: the updates will be slowing down, I don't have much internet next week and I'll be working on a new Harry Potter type of fic, not a full story but collections of storys I've thought about started and had to give up and psoting them as challanges if you will, the first will either be HarryXBioncle or HarryXDino Squad. and Like I said before I'll probably be rewriting PRN.

AN:stop flassing(is she asking us to stop flossing or flashing?) ok! if u do den u r a prep!(Prep= sane person With good dental hygine apparently)

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.(my boyfriend did that I'd brake up with him and put a restraining order on him!)

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly(explain how you can scream sadly please?).

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly.(because her last boyfriend had another boys name tattooed on his arm?). She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on(taaaaacky!). She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. (why if she's already pale?)

Hermione was kidnapped when she was born(why the random info on Hermione?)

Her real parents are vampires(Vamp's having kids is impossible, no blood means no erection means no sex pretty much means no baby) and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it(if she was a baby at the time, how the heck can she remember and have nightmares of it?)and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger(oh Hermione we will forever morn your passing from cannon) (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. (awah? Since when does Slytherin=Satanist?)

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.(do so at your own peril!)

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!(huh? Last I checked your with Malfoy not Harry!)" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me(is it just me or did the POV change?). I had went out with Vampire (yep it changed)(I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)(but if you whent out with him BEFORE he had problems and when goth, then you went out with a Prep!)

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears (suddenly Aragog's children burst out of nowhere and tore her limb from limb and everyone cheered that the menace was gone!...oh come on let me have this one!)


	9. Chapter 9 10

...I'm a idiot -.- I didn't see I'd reposted the last chapter so to try and make it up to everyone, (and I was gonna start doing this to get this over with sooner) I'll post a two for one chapter. and when My Immortal's done I might change the name and continue doing commentarys on other fics like Imma Wisard and the like.

wingswordsandmetaphors: last time I checked the dictionary it does, more proof that Enoby or what ever you want to call it is a hermapridite!

Midori Hotaru: I'm a Kopaka fangirl but I love Takua/Taka, he's so cute as a Matoran! I'm a yaoi fan as well but I respect other people don't liek it or find it offencive so I don't really then to talk about it ^^; I've never watched that is it good? *sigh* oh how I wish we where at the end of this already! (Hermione: Take it do anythign you can to get rid of this abomanation! *gives the stone*) (I can't thank you enought for pointing this out)

(I haven't awnsered the reviews for this chapter cos my computers acting up and not letting me see them, and it's being replaced anyway)

AN: stop flaming ok! Never. I dntn red all da boox! (we can tell, and how the heck did you manage to spell book's with a x and convince yourself it's not miss-spelt?). dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! (OBJECTION! notice that he didn't swear in the films either so argument invalidated!) besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE(because EVERYONE swears when they have a head ache!*eye roll*)! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a Satanist(if you payed attion to the books or films you'd know Snape hates Harry cos of his dad bullying him)! MCR ROX(RANDOM!)!

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. (any one else feel pity for that poor, poor tree?)

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (you just said that)(basically like Voldemort in the movie(I wonder who that could be?*sarcasm*)) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort! (and here I thought it was Hagrid!)

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. (why would you shout for Hermione's cat?)Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream(oohhhh you meant Cricio!). I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped(that's the total opposite of what a sadist would do idiot).

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" (Voldy trying out for Hamlet or something?)

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden(so faithful to Malfoy isn't she?). I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up(No really!)

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun(…why would the muggle hating dark lord give you a gun when you have a wand?). "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face(I would pay so see old lord Moldyshorts *glass brakes*make this face…and to have it on a t-shirt…With Tara's next line on it as well!) . "I hath telekinesis(it's telepathy that the one where you read minds, telekinesis means he moves stuff with his mind you moron!). he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.(I would pay to see someone fly angrily)

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods. (why the heck would he go into the forest?)

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"(someone's forgotten Voldemort already!)

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) (WTF? The correct term is cross, pentagram just doesn't make sense in that sentence!). between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. (She got expelled! Let's have a party!)

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. (how did you not run into anything?)

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags(hold on, Bi people are ok but gay's aren't? you are such a bloody hypocrite you know Tara!) . if u donot lik ma story den fukk off!(I'm getting a head ache trying to decipher this) ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!(not all vampire's are evil and last I checked it's impossible to move house's once your sorted!)

I was really scared about Vlodemort (who's he Voldemort's evil twin? No wait…he'd be the good twin wouldn't he?) all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666 (such an imaginative name!). I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. (aren't the lead singers of all those bands male? Mhe I don't care long as she leaves LP and Skillet out of it) The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (even the Weaslys aren't safe…)(although we call him Diabolo (why?) now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it(how many more charicters do you have to ruin!.) and Hargrid(NOOOO she got Hagrid! T.T). Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that(you wrote it back up there you know)) or a steak(prime or sirloin?) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride.(that's a kid's film, you know) I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs (*cough*sluty!*cough* someone hear something?) and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.(could have fooled me!)

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.(she forgot to take her meds again!)

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" (Rude much, she's only trying to help!). I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking (so many fucks in one sentence!) kill Draco!" I burst into tears.

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall. (is he a ghost now?)

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)(he would have said it better and probably used Mudblood, but the muggle bitch bit is about right unfortunately).

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive.(*twitch* Malfoy does not have a sensitive bone in his body). Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour(completely ignoring the crying boyfriend? Bitch!). Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache. (does he need one to be mad?)

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y(question, how can the stuff outside the brackets be spelt mostly right but inside it's like gibberish!)) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." (uh….you said vampires can't die from slitting their wrists! Idiot can't even keep her own story strait!)


	10. Chapter 11 12

Ok if you want chapter ten go back a chapter co I started doing it in twos to get this over with sooner, I'll return to replying with reviews in the next chapter which will be sooner that next weekend cos I moved MIC to my memory stick rather than keeping it on one labtop. IMC is along with Warehouse 13 my most pressing projects. PRN I should have the rewrite up sometime next year but it's slow going, WH13 has taken it's plase as my most important project, the rules thing is just a little humor to help realieve some stress ok? ok on with the story (if you can even call it that -.-)

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!(*eye twitch*six words in that whole thing where spelt right….*headdesk*)

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off (if that's how you treat your friends I'd hate to see how you do your foes!). and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. (more like a teacher trying to talk to a student!)

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists.(you have a problem GET HELP!) They got all over my clothes so I took them off(….You took off your wrists because they got on your clothes…..does this sentence make scene to ANYONE?) and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park (NOOOOOOOOO *sniffle* my fave band )song at full volume. I grabbed a steak (rare or well done?) and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide(how would you do that? Just slap it on your chest?...she'd better stay away from Lady Gaga's meat dress!). I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings.(really who out there sleeps in anything remotely like this?) Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap (what's one of the rice crispy elves doing at Hogwarts? Visiting its house elf aunt?) was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it(…what….the f*ck?)! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! (News flash! Your not naked!) ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason (over the dress you made us suffer the description of?) that on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" (Why is he calling a pokemon out?) he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. (Harry's was carrying a female reproductive organ with him?) I took my gun(where's your wand?) and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hargrid (Dumbledore summoned Hagrid?)ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" (….Hagrid hasn't been a student for fifty years….and he's half giant…..)

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" (And that has WHAT to do with ANYTHING?)

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him.(shouldn't he be dead if you shot him so many times?) "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. (Madly is right, the hell does she mean you don't have any what?)

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!" (yaaaaa, if the camera was shot like you said the tape would be ruined)

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. (because all your reader are vampires who know what that's like *eye roll*)

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily(shouldn't it be Dumbledore or What ever you call yoru mary sue now who's angry?) while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him(….Huh?). I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. (hands up who would want to see Hagrid rap?)

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.(I call bull on that! Satanism is just the name of the religion, it's about worshiping yourself that you are your own god).

"Because I LOVE HER!" (just like everyone one else in this story *sigh*)

Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat (I unfortunately can't legitimacy call bull on that but I can pretty much bet it is)I wunted 2 adres da ishu!(uhrg headaches back -.-*) how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! (first it Hagrid now it's Cedric have a little respect for the dead!...though apparently Cedric doesn't respect his self *trails of muttering about twish*te vampires)

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago(now she get's Malfoys name wrong, when will it end!)! had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy (*snort*)but I knew that we must both go together(oi vay, does she remind anyone of Bella Swan?).

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" (I thought his scar was gone?)and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. (wouldn't that be pink?)

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!" (BACK into a lightning bolt?)

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore(so did I)!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation(Wouldn't a 'goff' be proud of a pentagram scar?)." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort (Lord Moldyshorts's *window brakes* uncle?)has him bondage!" (…..EWWWW EWWW EWWW SOME ONE GET ME MIND BLEACH!(I have nothing against gays or people who are into that kind of thing but *gag* really I hate this pairs and uhrg, Sorry if I offend anyone with my outburst))

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists(FINALLY she get's help!). Snap and Loopin and HAHRID (Hagrids nephew?) were there too. They were going to St. Mango's (Sponsored by Fruit Loops!). after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera (he feed it to much fiber?)they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them. (can't you say flipped them off or flipped the birdy at them once?)

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses. (aww such a nice thing for your friend to do ^.^)

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." (He tries to do something sweet for you to cheer up your stay in the hospital wing and you swear at him!) I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik(and now he's trying to make up for it!).

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."(their not?)

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses(stop banging on about it!).

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin(…I would be grateful if someone did that for me!).". Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong)(why the random capitalisation of that?). to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely. (You wise? )

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!" (also not a spell)

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black(you just said that). Now I knew he wasn't a prep. (You have SUCH high standards for goths *eye roll*)

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?" (I think she means it as Where the F*ck is Draco)

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.(I'm not surprised you didn't 'C' anything, did you SEE anything by the way?)

"U c, Enobby(how many more spellings of Ebony are we gonna have to put up with?)," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT(…I don't get it and I can't even READ it -.-*) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled(I think he was taling to Ebony). dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back(does Dumbledore need a headache to be able to talk? Poor guy: ().

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on (oh good lord WHEN WILL IT END!)a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them(can you even get boots with peoples pictures on them? I know arty people doodle things on them but still). I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!(oi vay)) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.(…You put on red lipstick and black lip gloss on top, FAIL!)

"You look kawai(no she doesn't, she looks like a cheap whore), girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit(head desk)) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists (….You JUST got out the hospital wing for doing that moron!)feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood(…..IMPOSSIBLE!). I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time(why would they want to?). I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures(is this where you learn to groom Hippogriffs?). He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff(What the hecks a Hufflepuff (couldn't resisit XD)).

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes(Coloured contacts, Taaaaaaaaky) so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!(ROFL!)" shouted Professor McGoggle (you have a search engine for a teacher? O.o)who was watching us and so was everyone else (Perves).

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him.(huh?) "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco(You jumped on him to ya know!)!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!(…Huh?)" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites(Anyone else having a sense of daysavu?) .

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. (….We went through this not so long ago….)

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!" (….Da f*ck? Did she just copy and paste what she wrote before?)

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111 (…..*whimpering* my head hurts)

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I


	11. Chapter 13 14

Note! You don't have to read it but what ever. The update time for this has changed, the labtop with most of my story's on is now broken but I managed to put my stories on a pen drive before it did so I can now update when ever I'm ready. And a life note, My BF has cheated and dumped me for a Ebony look alike, really she wears so much makeup she look's like a clown, she wears purple and black corsets all the time fishnets, high heels and little mini skirts. How she doesn't freeze in this British weather is beyond me. So I had a sad. Then this really cute boy asked me out right in front of them XD My Ex glared at him and me when I said yes. I just smiled at him waved and left them alone.

Midori Hotaru: *gives you mind bleach* I swear the guy that makes this stuff must be making a fortune from this story!

Chapter 13.

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin(Gelpin?) me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! (she's what tweleve thirteen? Jezze at that age you really shouldn't think of ANYONE as a 'sexbom') PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared. (do we care? Hummmm Nope!)

"Dumbledore Dumblydore( whaaaa? You spelt it right the first time!)!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily(soooo not Dumbledore).

"Volsemort(is this the one that's the uncle, twin or cosine?) has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.(He's possessed by lord Moldyshorts!)

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.(I'd be encouraging him to waste time sides, Malfoys on Voldemorts side!)

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco(We don't either). Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned(-.- I am losing all respect for Harry). (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!(-no cos their gay! Noting against them in general but why do guy's think lesbians are hot? Their not interested in guys!))

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood(See a frisking doctor!). Then he had a brainstorm(thank who ever's up their she didn't say brainblast, a small shred of my childhood kept safe). "I had an idea!"(Past tense he's forgotten it!) he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell(….which one?). Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair! (nonono that's the wrong guy! You need Volsemort's lair, just go down the street left at Vopamort's lair go strait and right at Mortmort's lair but if you see Velmort's lair you've gone to far)

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!" (insert Muslim joke)

It was….. Voldemort! (he must have popped over for a cup of Evil Sugar)

Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen(I'm not even gonna try anymore). im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists(ok really does anyone really think she cut her wrists? She is just a little brat begging for attion). PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!(I doudt he'd review hun)

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD(*eyeroll* trust me any other chapter of this fic is scary than this).

We ran to where Volcemort (wrong guy!)was. It turned out that Voldemort (well considering you where going to Volcemort!) wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was(Wormtail). Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail (….Naigini and Wormtail's love child(eww gave my self baaaaaad mental images) was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" (he's call ebony and Vampire preps…Does that make him a Goff Prep or poser?)he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes(-.-* oi vay) . "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok(if he's Wormtail and Nagini's child then ok, if he IS Wormtail than no, just no.))

"Huh?" I asked.

"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me(just like everyone ELSE IN THIS!)?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely(where you swearing as you laugh?). "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard(*twitch* so many fucks!)." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain(Snaketail's got veeeery high blood pressure).

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around(I'b be trying to stop the blood flow, but that's just me!). Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly(da whaa? He tortured your boyfriend and tried to have sex with you and your SAD you killed him?).

"Snaketail what art thou doing?(Lol I love ye olde Voldemort XD)" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us(*giggle snort* tranny Voldy XD). So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts(why not use the 'super dupper can apperate out of hogwarts even thought it's not possible' spell again?). We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying(*sigh* what are you being emo about this time?).

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah(bad joke is bad -.-)) and a really huge you-know-what (no we don't know what)and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything.(...your complaining about being pretty...B*TCH you know there are girl's out their who really do cut their wrist's because they think their NOT pretty! Hell I can name ten other girl's off the top of my head who have been depresseded over something to do with their looks(admittedly I'm on that list ^^;) but still!)"

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts(pot calling kettle)." answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked(...you where wearing a dress -.-). Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me(and Snaketail is dead, keep up)! I just wanna be with you ok Draco(then ignore all the other people and actually BE FAITHFUL to Malfoy!)! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob (she is)or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty(and everyone else would be flattered if people told them that!)) "Im good at too many things(Mary suuuue)! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away. (mature much?)


End file.
